Sep

26

Honesty Is Sanity

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Great message from Harun I., a frequent contributor to Charles Hugh Smith’s website, OfTwoMinds.com I include his quote and then provide my thoughts at the bottom.

It is not under-education or an inability to think critically which part people from their money, it is their uncontrolled emotions. Faced with purchasing a house which they know is unaffordable or choosing to rent they will not bother to run the comparison as long as it is their dream and “someone” told them they could. Had grumpy old Mr. Critical Thought been allowed to show up and run a spread sheet or put the numbers into Quicken they (the cold, emotionless reality of the numbers) would have irrefutably deprived them of their “dream”.

This drama plays out everyday at different levels across the spectrum of human psychology, the food you should not eat because you are morbidly obese, the years-old but never used exercise equipment in the garage, the spouse or partner who is abusive but you can’t leave, the dress, shoes, house, boat, car you have to buy but cannot afford, the candidates we vote for because we like the way they part their hair. The inconsistencies, contradictions and convolutions are endless and mind-boggling to the point of madness to the observer.

Facing your inconsistencies and contradictions is a never-ending battle.  To avoid succumbing to negativity and false senses of happiness (mindless consumerism, distractions, addictions/vices), I’ve found the following help:

  • Surrounding yourself with friends, family that support and encourage your growth as a human.
  • Feeding your brain positive information (listening to and engaging your mind in positive thoughts).
  • Being introspective (journaling, silent thought) and determining your own value system, not one that your parents/your society gives you.
  • Being consciously aware of your own strengths, weaknesses and limitations.  Actively working to tilt the playing field in your favor.
  • Being honest with yourself, your lifestyle and those around you.  Honesty is sanity.

Takeaway:  Life is too short to waste time with distractions.  Since your mind can be your best friend or worst enemy, it makes sense to work on your attitude/worldview/values to have more peace of mind.

Sep

8

Outstanding Work Performance

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How can we be the equivalent of this man at our jobs?

How can you take a mundane task and do it so well it inspires others?

How can we serve our employers, families and customers in this way?

Takeaway:  Every act of creation is a self-portrait.  Take pride in  your work.

Jul

20

Model T’s and Loved Ones

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I saw a beautiful Model T the other day.  This 90 year-old entry-level vehicle is shown below.  It amazes me that a caring owner can keep something this old in such good working order.

Model T2

Since America is an instant gratification society with an ever-declining attention span, I was delighted to see this piece of human accomplishment so well-maintained and well cared for.  It brought to mind some important facts.

There are many parallels between taking care of a motor vehicle and taking care of your loved ones.  For husbands and fathers, it is important to know that the values that make cars last also make relationships last.

Preventative Maintenance - The Model T obviously required an inordinate amount of maintenance over the years from its owner.  Preventative maintenace is part of being a great husband and great father.  It takes years and years of daily care and attention in any relationship to build up a level of trust.

Patience - A loving relationship requires extraordinary amounts of patience and work.  It is easier to get into flings and shallow relationships/friendships, but the rewards aren’t as great.  The rewards of an honest, patient relationship are worth it.  A high level of trust makes it easier to get through the rough patches.

Pride - The man who owned the Model T took time out of his day to explain to me the nuances of his vehicle.  He showed me the old-fashioned horn, the gears and the antique headlights.  His actions and demeanor spoke for themselves.  Pride in your loved ones comes from patience and mutual respect.  Pride is not buying an expensive ring, it is holding the door; fifty years later.

Takeaway:  There are some cars that are new and flashy that never satisfy an impatient owner for very long.  A luxurious Buick or Cadillac, well-maintained and well-cared for, only gets better with age.

Your family is with you from the time you are an infant until the time you have children or grandchildren of your own.  Treat them them with pride and your investment will last a lifetime.

Model T4

Jul

5

Fatherhood Advice from Bill Gates

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Fortune Magazine’s cover story “The Best Advice I Ever Got” features some great pearls of wisdom for fathers.

The father of Bill Gates, William Gates, has some great wisdom to share about raising his son.  You can read the entire interview here.

As a child, Bill Gates was introduced to a psychologist/psychiatrist who imparted on him the following valuable lesson:

Best advice

There isn’t any benefit to fighting with your parents.  It was all about the issues, the battles were going to be about the real world, and they were really on my side.  And that was fantastic.  It just changed my mindset.  I was only 12 or 13 at the time.  I think it made things a lot smoother from that point on.

Inthon:  Our actions as children and parents should definitely mirror that important concept.  Honestly expressing your love for your child in a way that your child implicitly knows you care about them and that they can trust that you will be on their side in the long run.

Parents can also play a role in articulating that while fights are borne out of a disagreement about what is best for the child, parents should acknowledge that both parties want the exact same outcome: 

a healthy, successful child.

Obviously… easier said than done.

Bill Gates goes on to mention:

And the thing that people there taught us and emphasized, which is so significant is that you should never demean your child.

Inthon:  We all remember when our parents accidentally or intentionally demean us or put us down.  They can often overshadow great things that they taught us.  As adults, we must be mindful that, no matter what happens, demeaning does not produce positive results.

Lastly, Mohammed El-Erian of PIMCO had good advice on intellectual honesty:

Unless you read different points of view, your mind will eventually close, and you’ll become a prisoner to a certain point of view that you’ll never question.

I agree with this principle and I have made it a priority to get my information from radically different and opinionated sources.  It has been invaluable in expanding my worldview.

This issue of Fortune is on the newsstands now and is definitely worth checking out.

Takeaway: Life does not come with an instruction manual.  I have found it beneficial to learn as I go along for roles and duties which I will eventually face… in this case, fatherhood.  Feel free to submit ideas and tips to inthonblog@gmail.com

Jul

1

Michael Jackon – Man in the Mirror

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The passing of Michael Jackson brought back memories of some of his greatest hits, some of them popular 20 years after being created.

Jackson had a terrible childhood.  A childhood I cannot even begin to imagine:

The trauma he suffered from his childhood, the constant media attention and a medical condition which altered his appearance obviously had a role in bringing forth some of his bizarre behaviors.

Child molestation charges aside (he was acquitted), he managed to come up with some very inspiring music, which can often touch us in ways that other mediums cannot.

One of his hits, Man in the Mirror, deals with a man’s realization of how lucky he is and how he plans to make a change.

As I turned up the collar on
My favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin’ my mind
I see the kids in the street
With not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind
Pretending not to see their needs

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

Man in the Mirror brings to mind another poem about being honest with oneself.

The Guy in the Glass is a poem about being true to yourself.  It is amazing how we can enjoy great food, wine, luxuries and still feel miserable if we’ve cheated “The Guy in the Glass”.

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.

The word pelf in the first line means “wealth.” The word self is often incorrectly substituted.

It is startling how true that poem is.  Our minds have an innate ability to give us credit when we know we’ve earned it and feel guilty when we’ve done something wrong.

To improve, we should listen to these signals as closely as possible despite what social conditioning tells us.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world. – Mohondas Gandhi

Takeaway:  The hard work of improving yourself, your family, your country or anything begins with you.  We, as men, get the government/family/self-respect we deserve.